So … it’s the 9th inning of a Spring Training baseball game. Your team is down 8-4 and things are looking bleak. Because it’s the top of the 9th inning, and you’re still in the game, chances are good that you’re a prospect that’s trying to fight and claw his way onto a major league roster.

You, specifically, are this guy:

That’s you. You are Lance Zawadzki, professional baseball player.

It’s your second at-bat of the game. The first time you were up, you smacked a sharp ground ball into right field. So far, so good.

“Okay, Lance, no pressure,” you quietly say to yourself. “Let’s do this. At-bat number two.”

“Sorry, guys. Let me try this again.”

Two pitches later …

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

—

/fade to black

/ominous narrator grumbles out the phrase

“Heath Hembree will destroy you.”

—

Fin.