Don’t you sometimes hate how dry MLB Gameday can be on your Android/iPhone/Other? It’s so straight forward, it’s nearly dishonest, and it feels terribly condescending. For example, let’s say Brad Lidge is pitching…

Aaron Roward strikes out swinging.

Thanks, MLB Gameday. Duh!

Or, when Jonathan Sanchez is pitching…

Carlos Beltran walks.

Really, MLB Gameday? Really?!

So let’s fix it – after all, nothing heals pain like laughter.

****

[Dreamy] Buster Posey walks [on a beautiful, masterpiece of a 10-pitch at-bat].

[The slowest runner in MLB,] Chris Snyder [,] singles on a ground ball to shortstop Miguel Tejada [again].

Aubrey Huff strikes out swinging [, though next year, in his “up” year, that would have been a double].

Nate Schierholtz strikes out swinging [on a pitch that hits him in the belly button].

Jonathan Sanchez walks Vladimir Guerrero [–Vladimir Guerrero–on four pitches–on four pitches].

Jonathan Sanchez walks Darwin Barney [– Darwin Barney – on four pitches – on four pitches].

[With an open base, as pointed out by Mike Krukow,] Matt Cain walks Aramis Ramirez.

With Aaron Roward batting, Carlos Marmol replaces John Grabow [and an automatic strikeout is called to save time].

[After giving up on bloop single,] Bruce Bochy replaces Sergio Romo with Javier Lopez to face Nate McClouth [even though there are 36 right-handed hitters following McClouth].

Pablo Sandoval grounds out [on a ball that bounces eight feet in front of the plate], second baseman Darwin Barney to first baseman Carlos Pena.

Darwin Barney singles on a ground ball to left fielder Cody Ross. Jeff Baker scores. Darwin Barney to 2nd on the throw. [ /checks to make sure it isn’t actually Aaron Rowand that threw the ball]

Miguel Cabrera strikes out swinging. [ /Madison Bumgarner blows snot-rocket coming off mound]

Prince Fielder singles on a fly ball to right fielder Aubrey Huff [, though most quadriplegic athletes could have run that ball down].

With Ryan Braun batting, Rickie Weeks steals second base [on Tim Lincecum. Were the catcher able to teleport the ball to second, he still would've had no chance].

Miguel Tejada grounds out softly [on the first pitch], shortstop Derek Jeter to first baseman Mark Teixeira [, and Yankees pitcher Bartolo Colon has now thrown 12 pitches through eight innings].

Now come up with your own in the comments!