They call them … GAMERS

Q: Did we just witness the ultimate GAMER game last night?

A: I think we did.

We all knew that the Giants GAMER campaign was silly. No matter how hard you try or how idealistic it might seem in an American Dream-type sense, you can’t substitute hard work for talent. But, maybe in one night, maybe just for one time, the Giants played true to their advertising campaign.

These ballplayers, no, these men, played like GAMERS last night. They scrapped, scraped, bunted, squeezed, hit-and-ran, played all out, hustled, got dirty, played the game right, and gamed themselves straight into the victory column.

You might ask what exactly the Giants did that was so gamertastic last night. I’ve compiled a small list of some of the ultimate GAMER moments from last nights game.

1. In the top of the 2nd inning Aaron Rowand got hit by a pitch. That’s right, GAMERS love to get HBP’d because it’s about the toughest, most brutal way that you can get on base. Rub some dirt on it, meat.

2. Maybe the most surprising GAMER of the night was Jose Castillo. He did several things that all good GAMERS do. First, he crashed into the fence near the Indians dugout in the 2nd inning to catch a foul ball. GAMERS crash into stuff, that’s just science. Then, in the 6th, Castillo started a double play by making a great diving catch to his left on a Johnny Peralta groundball. The result was not only a double play, but a dirtier jersey. GAMER. And if that’s not enough to satisfy your GAMER taste buds, Castillo knocked in the first run of the game by hitting an opposite field single. He was off the GAMER charts.

3. In the 8th inning the Giants scored on a throwing error by the Indians catcher. That’s pretty darned GAMER right there. With Durham on 3rd, Winn attempted to steal 2nd base. The throw skipped in the dirt and 2B Jamey Carroll — who looks like an insect — couldn’t reel in the bad throw with his feelers. When the ball got away from Carroll, Durham ran home to score. Making it a 2-1 game. If you didn’t know, that’s called “playing the game the right way”.

4. In maybe what was the climax of the GAMER night, Omar Vizquel executed a successful squeeze play to put the Giants up 3-1. Sure, Omar has the bat-speed of a 7-year-old boy these days, and he hasn’t hit a ball hard in a months, but when the game was on the line, he gutted it out by dropping a bunt. That’s extremely GAMER. When you can’t physically swing a bat anymore, you bunt a baseball 4 feet. It’s like Ozzie Guillen porn.

Seriously, the game was awesome. Sanchez punched out 8 hitters and looked good. Omar got a warm reception from the Cleveland fans — you stay classy — and he even made a couple of nice defensive plays, especially in the 9th. The Giants were white-hot, concentrated, GAMERS last night and it worked. Let’s all put on some eye black, rub some dirt on ourselves, and crash into inanimate objects. It’s what GAMERS do.